One of the Four Feral Cats : Fluff’s Sweet Life
This Needs a Caption
Sigh. Seems I did something unusual in my sleep. Well, I just don't remember doing this! Why would I put my paw on HER computer!
Yet I did. So Paws has asked THE ENTIRE WORLD (well, the world of Plurk!) to suggest a caption to put onto the image.
I await your interesting responses.
5:48 PM 4/05/2009
"I Like it, Even Without a Mouse."
Sigh. Dogge O Alice wrote a great caption for this photograph! GODDAMN! I hate Paws! Yes, she is my sister, we were born in a carpark, yaddiyaddi, THAT WAS TWELVE YEARS AGO!
Can I kill her now?
10:26 PM 19/05/2009
Egad, My Sister is on Plurk
Can you believe it?! My little sister Paws is chatting with the hoomanz on Plurk! What an insult! I hope she is applying the most important procedures outlined in the TIFF. These few can be used by cats who chat online:
Helping
1. If one of your humans is engaged in some semi-closed activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping"; humans are known to refer to it as "hampering". The following are the rules for "helping":
Computers
1. Only show interest in computers that are turned ON, the operator will need your help.
2. Monitors are bad for human eyes. It might ruin your owner's sight and cause them to buy less cat food. Always get in between the monitor & the person operating the computer. For best results, stands as close to the monitor as possible. If you are removed, go & sulk in a corner for a minute, then repeat. Look as innocent as possible.
3. Keyboards are great to lie down on. Make yourself as comfortable as possible. Marching over the keyboard several times is fun too. Practice aiming at alt-F4, N, and ctrl-alt-del.
4. Always chase the mouse. Your owner can't blame you for this, since it's your feline instinct to chase mice.
5. Floppy disk make great scratching posts. Nothing beats floppies when it's time to sharpen your nails.
Egad, I am going to modify and add some new regulations! Floppies are now USB-sticks, keyboards are now thumb-pads, everythings changed!
8:52 PM 27/01/2009
Finding Oneself Online
Extra: I found myself on someone's blog. Always an ego-booster!
11:16 PM 26/09/2008
12 Months Onward
Wow, it's been so long since last I left a paw-print on my journal!
We've been so busy here. All four of us cats had a chat a few weeks ago and decided that we'd let the humans put in their new kitchen. It's going to change the journey to the kitty-litter, but it'll be worth it.
For now and whilst the kitchen is built (some time in December), we get carried out to the Cat-Cage and left their ALL day. At the insistence of a family-member, special kennels have been purchased and installed incase of rain. It's so cool - I have a throne-room where my siblings can visit me to plead their case. Apparently I am not a nice person, but I disagree: I just know how to pick'n'choose my prefered friends.
The humans know this: That male one, the one cleans my kitty litter, he has scratches on his leather lounge. Stupid human. He's slowly learning to treat me with more respect. I WANT MORE COVERAGE ON THIS WEB SITE!!
PS: Have you seen my lovely profile on Redbubble?
11:16 PM 26/09/2008
Available on Redbubble to Buy
Hey, he's finally got a good photograph of me!
If you like me as much as the humans in my house (and who wouldn't?):
You can now buy my beautiful profile as a christmas card , as a wall lamination , or mounted for a wall-hanging. I'm so pretty, the whole world will want me hanging on the wall ... Right?
ALL OF ME, not just my fur. I know what you were thinking, all you dog-lovers!
1:57 PM 26/02/2008
Six Months Onwards
Hmmmph. It's been six months since I last left a message. Should have left it a little longer, this whole internet thingie bores me. Cannot fathom how humans endure it for hours on end. I bet my male human would sit behind his computer permanently if given the choice. Loser.
Anyhow, this is about me. Seems they got a new Canon Camera, a teeny little Canon IXUS 860 IS. Nice enough.
12 megapixels? Very Nice. Now if only he could get a good shot of me. I should stand still. Maybe. Not.
Bye.
8:27 PM 10 February 2008
Yeah, I Have Mood Swings! Get Over It!
Ok, I really don't mind when he takes shots of me sleeping.
And I don't mind when he puts treats in glass jars for me to get out.
Nor do I mind at all when my siblings get photographed.
After all, I am so darn cute. Or so I'm told...
BUT IF THEY DON"T GIVE ME A FOOD-TREAT FOR ALLOWING ALL OF THIS, I AM GONNA SHRED SOME TAX FORMS!! Get it!
4:46 PM 31 July 2007
Yawwwwn!
Just fifteen minutes ago that bloody male human woke up, tramped down to the kitchen, stomping his feet down the hall-way - and woke me up!
As usual, he went straight for his camera. I didn't have time to blink - and he snapped me yawning. I suppose I should expect this. Anyhow, he's already put the photo on the internet. Cretin. I am sooo gunno shred any paperwork he leaves out here!!
3:55 AM 22 July 2007
Show Me The Caption!
That dastardly human caught me resting on this bit of paperwork. Can I help it if I love the smell of ink?
He leaves these interesting blotches all over it, something about designing the websites of the future, but it makes no sense to me!
Anyhow, he put this photograph on his flickr.com account and then asked everyone, and I mean everyone around the world, to leave a caption that best said what I was thinking.
What I was thinking? I make decisions on how to best annoy humans, which part of the furniture to scratch, and which section of my fur requires the maximum licking - all without batting one of my cute eyelids!! When I sleep like this, I avoid thinking. Sleeping time is quality time to just let go from the world.
But if you think you can write a caption that says what I MIGHT be thinking, go right ahead. I'd like to know what you measily humans think.
Oh, that book, I like that book. As long as he keeps reading it, he might get a better photograph of me!!
Before I sign off, here is me enjoying the sweet smeel of human feet. See my claws in the last frame? Remember that sight: I will claw anything that moves, including my siblings!!
2 June 2007
Bagged Cat
Here we find a series of photographs where Fluff enjoys one of her favourite past-times:
Climbing inside a shopping bag, toppling it over, and scrambling out without strangling herself!
A tiresome game for her, but makes her human-slaves smile and take photographs of her.
Fluff is fully aware of the attention it brings her, therefore never fails to provide the humans with this entertainment.
After all, they do fill her water and food bowl each night.
So this game is a small price to pay for a whole lotta TLC
Buyer Beware
Disclaimer: At no point in this photography shoot was anyone hurt, no cats were strangled, no lenses were scratched, nor were any shopping bags shredded.
Fluff may appear to have a bag-handle around her neck in this last photograph, but shortly afterwards she was seen running around the room beating her siblings into submission.
Such is the life of a cute and cuddly cat.
18 February 2007
Fluff Reclines
That’s me. The cute one. The baddest meanest angriest cat. I totally scare the fur off the others - I rule!
Well, I rule the cats. Those silly humans. They don't see when I slash the carpet, or scratch the curtains, or leave slash marks up the leather lounges -- hehe -- the other cats get the blame whilst I get called "cute".
I wouldnt give up this gig for all the dog-meat in heaven.
Anyhow, this is my page. Yes, I know, cats cannot type. But that strange human who keeps me and my siblings in his home can type at 55 wpm. And understands my paw-prints that I leave on the bathroom floor. So I let him transcribe to HTML. Somehow he gets it right. Almost every time.
8 December 2006
In Your Face!
This is me being cute.
If you don't think I am cute, I will go over to your house, shred your curtains, rip up your christmas presents, and slash your car tyres.
Ok, who thinks I am cute?!
Who doesn't think I am cute?!
8 December 2006
Fluffy Feet
Hey! Move on! I am trying to lick my fingers ... what? These are not fingers? You are kidding, right?
Well, if them humans are gonna treat me like I am human,
I am gonna think, act, and pretend I am human too! Whose gonna stop me?!
Move along while I manicure my nails to sharp points... There is a lounge somewhere down there that needs scratching. I love the taste of leather in the morning!!
8 December 2006
Numero Uno Feline
Me again. Top of the "carpet tree". I wish I had a real tree.
This stonework smells funny. I think that dark-haired cat, Mischief, has been up here. I am gonna string him up by the end of his tail and use him as a pinyada. However thats spelt. Hey, I am a cat, I can't spell. This is MY place!
29 July 2006
Dressed for Xmas
Hmmmf! Must I endure this? Never Again!
Well, since I managed to stand still long enough for this blasted red hat to stay on for the photograph,
I might as well say the next line :
Merry Christmas To All Online Cats!
Oh, yeah, and
Merry Xmas to all the Humans.
Is that it then?
This hat would improve the looks of a wet dog. Actually, anything would.
2004
Fluff in Arms
This is me in the arms of the male human.
He might have made this website for me. But I tell him what to write. He is so strange. He keeps a collection of paper in his office. If I had access, I would rip it all to shreds. Why does he have to lock it away from me? So illogical.
Hehe. I hear he is moving his office out to the garage. That’s where my brothers and sisters and I spent our first few months with these humans. How ironic!
22 May 2004
Fluff Smells
Hmmm... smelly ugg boots.
There ain't nothing better than foot odour -- except wet sheep fur!
HELP! My male human has set a pardoxial trap - there are treats down here, but I want to get out. Oh, the injustice of it all!
21 June 2004
Fluff Fills Four Glasses
Um.. Anyone got a can opener? I can't get outta here!
Does anyone besides me think Eddie Mcquire is an absolute tool? I have watched his face on that thing they call a television - he is so over-rated.
4 January 2004
Fluff Fishes for Fun
Those silly humans were trying to trick me. They were putting those nice treats in glass jars.
They thought I wouldnt't be able to get them out. I may not have an articulating thumb like them, but I have claws.
Watch this slowly...
22 June 2004
Fluff's Box!
DON'T ASK!! I don't know why - I just love cardboard. Maybe I was born in a cardboard box.
Those silly humans. They keep bringing boxes home -- and I just climb into them. I just hope they never find that pciture of me in the coke-a-cola box...
20 December 2003
Fluff Does Web Design
That silly human, that guy who created this webpage, and also created www.ezcreate.com.au, plus has the arduous task of emptying my kitty litter -- he sometimes fails to get a good enough photograph of me.
I guess it doesn't help that I don't like the pre-flash on his digital camera!
6 September 2003
Fluff in Portrait
This is my "I don't give a flying kitten what you think of me, I am so cool, I rule, and humans flush!" look.
It also is my "Hmm.Someone is sitting in my favourite lounge" look.
That female human says it makes me look regal. I like that idea.
12 August 2003
Being Owned by a Cat
Some days I just feel like Britney Spears trapped in a fur jacket. My life is so easy, my parents adore me, my wailing is mistaken for music, and I can change my mind in a heartbeat. And I am certainly not giving this up for all the money in the world.
12 August 2003
Sleeping Blissfully
Hehe. Whenever I sit like this, he takes a photograph. Neat trick? I have trained my humans well.
Now I need to train him to clean my indoor & outdoor litter trays, or to let me out at night time, so I can go kill little birds, crush baby euculptus trees, and spray my mark all over the front yard.
EDITORS NOTE:
And that is exactly why our cats are kept either inside the house or in the cage. We are responsible cat owners.
12 August 2003
Fluff Does Cutesome
That blasted male human took a goddam photo of me again. It’s no wonder my eyes glow gold.
At least I didn't get red-eye this time. I hate red-eye.
I must remember not to drink so much cat-nip before a photo-op'!
22 April 2003
